


Apocalypse at 0830

by Nynaeve



Category: Stargate: SG-1
Genre: F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-18
Updated: 2009-06-18
Packaged: 2017-10-15 10:10:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/159766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nynaeve/pseuds/Nynaeve
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for a ficathon over at GW - prompt: Five times Sam Carter wished the world would have ended.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Apocalypse at 0830

**Author's Note:**

> _A/N: Written for some ficathon on the S/J message board over at Gateworld. I needed a break from the angst. Maybe you do too :) The prompt: Five times Sam Carter wished the world would have ended._

As it turns out, Anubis wasn't dead. No one saw the attack coming, there was no last minute save, and Earth's luck had finally run out. He positioned his new, sleeker, more advanced ship right over the White House and it exploded just like in _Independence Day_. After obliterating most of Congress (not that anyone minded), he moved to Cheyenne Mountain. They never even had time to dial the gate before everything was destroyed, leaving carnage and ashes strewn about. Sam had never been so happy in her entire life. Then she opened her eyes. As she had suspected her and SG-1 were still there in the conference room, safe and sound and they were still staring at her. Despite Sam's fantasy, it looked as though the world wouldn't be ending that day. It was just her luck.

The very first time Sam wished the world would just end and spare her the agony of shame was when her father walked in on her making out with Mike Daley. Jacob was supposed to be gone for a week and he had only been gone for three days so Sam figured she had a buffer. She had let herself completely enjoy the moment filled with moans and soft sighs as they kissed and explored each other on the couch. Mike had her shirt halfway over her head when the stern voice of her father interrupted their amorous encounter. "Samantha Carter, what the hell are you doing?"

She had been grounded for a month and the next day at school, Mike wouldn't even look at her. To this day she had no idea what her father had said to the boy after she was sent to her room. There was probably the threat of castration involved, knowing Jacob.

The second time happened a few years later at the Academy. There she was, confident, giving her report on the symbolism of light and dark in Nathaniel Hawthorne's _The Scarlet Letter_ , completely oblivious to the fact that her skirt was tucked into her hose allowing everyone in the room to see her very lovely derriere and the granny panties she had thrown on hastily that morning. Sam only discovered her exposure when the professor pulled her aside and mentioned that she might want to pull her skirt down… this was, of course, after she had concluded her presentation. She was thankful only that she had faced the class during _most_ of her lecture.

She thought third time's a charm when she desperately prayed to whatever god was listening to strike her dead where she stood when she had gotten into her first argument with Jonas Hansen. They had been out on a date at a club and he had made some chauvinistic joke. The chatter in the room had been so loud they had started yelling to hear each other and she had completely missed whatever had caused a silence to fall over the group because the next words out of her mouth were, "I can't believe you think your penis makes you a god!" Her words had echoed through the room before a few nervous giggles and a few hoots and hollers broke the stunned quiet. Red faced, she sat down and drank her Diet Coke and Captain Morgan without another word. If only she had known his fate, maybe she wouldn't have been so embarrassed.

Yet still, fate had a fourth time which emerged when SG-1 visited P3X-595 when she drank the stuff that made her take off her… Sam shuddered; she was so not going there.

But now, sitting in the conference room with General O'Neill and the rest of SG-1, she was sure this was the moment she definitely wanted the world to end. Her face was bright red and in the corner of her eye she could see Daniel slack jawed. It had been a simple question. Sam had mentioned the wedding was off. Jack had asked why and her mouth, engaging before her brain, simply said, "Because I'm in love with you."

Jack's eyes were wide with surprise, but were quickly filled with an amusement which only served to make her feel worse. Why, oh why, had they managed to defeat Anubis? This would be the most ideal moment in the universe for any Goa'uld at all to decide to take over Earth. Right now. Sam kept waiting for the sound of klaxons and Walter running up screaming that it was all over… but nothing happened. There wasn't even an unscheduled off-world activation to take the attention off of her confession.

"I… mean… it's complicated," she stuttered, trying to backtrack. Jack just nodded, then moved his gaze over to Daniel and Teal'c. Her blood pounded so loud in her ears she had no idea what he had told them. They made some excuse as to why they were leaving and she wanted to beg them to stay but she was frozen in shock that her innermost feelings had just been poured out onto the table.

"I'm getting promoted," Jack informed her rather suddenly, a mischievous smirk crossing his face.

"Um…" Damn, she was so eloquent when it came to technobabble, but right now the only words that were coming to mind were prepositions and curses. It didn't help that his statement seemed a non sequitur to what she had just declared.

"I'm going to Washington, to take over Hammond's position." His voice was so steady that it made her feel even more off kilter.

"The… of… hell…" she muttered, but he just kept going.

"I'm recommending you for the position in Area 51."

Sam blinked. "What?"

"Better hours for Cassie. That's what you said when I mentioned it to you the last time."

"Yes, but what about… I mean..."

"You mean what about you being in love with me?"

She mutely nodded, her stomach churning. _C'mon Goa'uld. Anyone, anyone at all. Apophis, old buddy? Sokar? Anubis? Cronus? Hell, Fifth? You guys are great at coming back from the dead,_ she thought to herself.

"Well, since officially I won't be your commanding officer starting next week, I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner with me."

"What?"

Jack's grin never faded and Sam knew he was getting a kick out of watching her flounder. "Dinner. Eating. You know, so we live. Except we could eat together. Someplace nice for a change. I'm thinking someplace that doesn't let you throw your peanut shells on the floor."

"Okay…"

"Great. I'll send you an email finalizing the plans," he responded turning towards his office. Just as he was about to close the door he faced her once more. "Oh and Carter?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Ditto."

Sam felt a weight lift from her shoulders and she felt a smile cross her face at what she had just heard. With a wink, he headed into his office and closed the door while she let the exchange settle in her mind. Had he just… were they going to…? Slowly she headed down the steps into the control room where Walter was sitting, drinking a cup of coffee, waiting for something to happen.

"Walter," she said, pausing on her way out the door.

"Ma'am?"

Sam flashed her winning smile at him. "Cancel the impending apocalypse. Today's not a good day for me." Then she walked out, leaving behind a very confused gate technician.

The End.


End file.
